When the Music Stops: Advice for Navigating Life After Cheerleading
This time of year comes with huge life changes, especially for college and high school seniors. Amid the whirlwind of end-of-season competitions, graduation ceremonies, and saying goodbye to friends, there’s often no time to prepare for one of the hardest parts: saying goodbye to your sport.
A month ago, I crossed the stage at my college graduation, and though I didn’t cheer in college, it brought back a flood of memories—especially of my high school graduation when I left the uniforms and bows behind. I struggled a lot when it came time for me to let cheerleading go. I left cheer just as the world was beginning to reopen after COVID-19. This meant I technically had all the “lasts”—last football game, last practice, last competition—but socially distant and masked. I didn’t realize how much that lack of closure would hit me until months later when I felt lost, disconnected, and unsure of who I was without cheer. For years I struggled to accept that cheer as I had known it was over. I felt a lot of shame for not cheering in college even though I willingly gave it up to go to my dream school. I felt like I was wasting my potential—or worse like I hadn’t been good enough to make it in college cheer. That belief made moving on even harder. However, now four years later I am confident in my decision and able to look back on my time in cheer with appreciation, even if there is still a little sadness.
Life after any sport is difficult but leaving cheerleading behind presents a unique set of challenges. Cheer isn’t like other sports; there’s no professional league to aspire to and for most there’s no casual adult league to join. There’s no pickup game equivalent; no way to replicate the feeling of cheering on a Friday night or hitting the competition mat. Open teams are hard to find and adult programs such as the activist squad Cheer Philadelphia, are even rarer. When you age out of cheer or are forced to retire due to illness or injury it can feel like all the passion you still have has nowhere to go.
Not to mention that cheerleading’s reputation can make saying goodbye extra hard. When you’ve spent years in a sport that is so often misunderstood, invalidated, and underappreciated, one feels a sort of distance from those outside the cheer community—they just don’t get it. Many can’t understand why leaving cheer is so devastating because they think cheerleading is just shaking pompoms and dancing around. While you might miss those aspects too—I certainly do—what many fail to see is the deep sense of belonging that cheerleading provides for athletes. For many of us, cheerleading wasn’t just something we did—it was who we were. The sport entirely shaped our routines, values, and social lives. So, when it ends, you’re left asking: If I’m not a cheerleader anymore, who am I?
The feeling of losing your identity is heartbreaking and terrifying. However, as hard as it is, life after cheer is also an opportunity to redefine yourself. You can now carry what you’ve learned into new chapters and honor the role cheer played in your life without letting it define you forever. In the jumble of emotions and memories that likely fly through your mind when anyone even mentions cheer, it can feel impossible to navigate the next steps to do this. Here’s what I’ve learned about rediscovering who you are when the glitter settles and the crowd goes quiet.
Stay active and train like the athlete you are.
Just because you’re no longer wearing a uniform, competing, or performing doesn’t mean you stop being an athlete. One of the best things I did after cheer was find new ways to stay active. For me that looked like joining a kickboxing gym, getting into lifting and line dancing regularly. These activities fill in for cheer in a lot of ways; they give me community, structure, and challenge—three things my mind and body deeply missed. They may not be the same as cheer, but they have provided me with new passions to put my energy towards, and they keep me ready to return for an impromptu tumble session if I want.
Being an athlete doesn’t stop when the season ends. So, fuel your body like someone who still needs it to perform—because you do. Eating a healthy and balanced diet helps with focus, energy, and mental health. Plus, it reminds you that you are still someone who shows up and puts in the work. Even four years later, I still refer to myself as an athlete—not because I compete but because I constantly push myself to be better and stay committed to my health and strength. Maintaining my athlete’s mindset helped me rebuild my confidence when I felt like my identity had been ripped away.
Allow cheer to be a part of your identity still.
Just like moving on from cheer doesn’t mean you’re no longer an athlete, it also doesn’t mean you’re no longer a cheerleader either. When your whole personality was being “the cheer girl,” it is jarring not to be that anymore. But cheerleading taught me important skills that go far beyond tumbling and stunting. It taught me discipline, dedication, how to take feedback, how to work with a team, and how to be a leader. These values don’t disappear when your season ends. Even without cheer, I realized I am still someone who is coachable, who sets goals, and who works hard to achieve them. That’s what being a good cheerleader or athlete is. When I finally gave myself permission to still see myself that way, I was able to leave my competing days behind and attack my goals with increased intensity. Take some time to reflect on what being a cheerleader really means to you and carry those values and skills into every space you enter. Then you can let cheerleading shape you, but not define you.
Stay involved in cheer—or don’t!
Here’s the thing: there’s no right or wrong way to move forward. For some people staying involved helps. You might find joy in coaching, judging, choreographing, or—like me—studying the sport through research and writing about it. Others may need space from it, and that’s okay too. If being around cheer brings up hard feelings, it’s okay to take a break and come back when you’re ready—or not at all.
What you don’t have to do is pretend that cheer didn’t or doesn’t mean something to you. It’s okay to still love cheer even if you no longer participate in it. That doesn’t mean you can’t move on from the past and it is by no means embarrassing, it just means all that love might be taking a different form. Billions of people follow sports they haven’t played in years or even never played at all. So be a fan! Watch competitions, follow cheer fan pages, and talk about it with your friends. We all know that cheer is a sport in its own right, and it deserves the viewership and loyalty that other sports are afforded anyway.
Grieve the ending but stay grateful.
Allow yourself time and space to acknowledge the fact that something that you love is now gone, or at least changing shape. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s “just cheerleading” or that it doesn’t matter. If it mattered to you, then it’s important to acknowledge. At the same time, I try to stay grateful for all the lessons cheer taught me: how to win humbly and lose with grace, how to be adaptable and versatile, and how to find strength in myself and others. The most important lesson cheer has given me is that every person is valuable. We all bring something different to the table and that’s what makes teams great. Appreciate cheer for giving you your strengths and use its lessons to work on your weaknesses.
If you’re reading this and feeling a little lost after cheer know that you’re not alone. Lean on your friends and old teammates—they likely feel the same way as you. Know that whether you cheered in college, competed at Worlds, or cheered under the Friday night lights your experience mattered. Cheerleading made you the amazing person you are but it is only one piece of the puzzle that is your ever-evolving identity. You are more than just a cheerleader but being a cheerleader is something no one can take away from you. You earned that title—you lived it—and no matter what’s next that chapter of your life will always be something to be proud of. Now you get to write the next one.
